February 24, 2016
Blog II- "The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step..." -Lao Tzu
Ever have the feeling that there is not enough time in the day to complete all your tasks and wished for an extra 4 hours? You're not alone. Many people feel overwhelmed by daily tasks and sometimes that 'overwhelming feeling' can lead to a sense of helplessness that keeps you from wanting to do anything. If you add to that attempting to seek out therapy well... who has time for that? Though many can relate, we all know there will never be an extra 4 hours added to the day and similarly our problems won't dissapate unless we make an effort and 'time' to work on them.
What does the "first step" look like in treatment? I'm glad that you asked... Perhaps knowing what to expect may decrease some anxiety. The first step in counseling looks like: you in a non-judgemental atmosphere sharing some of your narrative with a therapist in the form of an assessment. The best part about this is sometimes, the first sense of relief comes from saying what you think & feel without worrying about what someone else thinks about you. Many people carry much of their stress on their own for a long time. They struggle with feelings of shame, guilt or fear of being a burdern to family members, so they internalize and hide a lot of their emotions. That can be a heavy load to carry on your own. Your therapist will establish a rapport with you and as you grow to trust their expertise & that they have your best interest in mind, you will start to learn ways to better manage those stressors that used to render you feeling helpless.
You may be wondering: "What type of 'special powers' are involved in dealing with my problems?" Surprisingly, there is no 'magic potion' when it comes to psychotherapy. Insight yes, education definitely, but "magic" isn't sustainable... you learning how to successfully manage your problems is. Helpful psychotherapy isn't supposed to last 'forever and a day' where your therapist alone has the 'answer serum' or 'perfect cure' for you... The ideal of psychotherapy is to enrich and teach individuals to learn how to master and cope with life stressors so that they are able to access their own resilience and learn to incorporate what they have learned in treatment into their everyday life. It's kind of like the old saying: "When you know better.. you can do better." Psychotherapy raises your emotional intelligence and enables you to; become aware of, control, and express your emotions in a healthy light. Our society welcomes every form of education and embetterment, but we place education for our psyche/mind as a last resort, even though it is the epicenter that runs our daily lives. Learning life skills can forever change your perceptions about your reality and is a fundamental step on your journey for emotional health & wellness.
A golden nugget of an insight that you will learn in therapy is how to shift your thinking from: "lines to circles"... Many times in conflict we have linear thinking; "I did this because s/he did that..." This is a very common idea. The assumption is that in conflict, the focus is linear- thinking about what someone may have said or done that contributes to the current problem. However conflict is circuluar: each person plays a role in conflict that contributes to the circular pattern of acting and reacting. Circular thinking, empowers people to understand that becoming aware of and ending one aspect of a dysfunctional pattern can change the conflict altogether. Like a couple in a dance together, one partners dance move can shift the entire outcome of the dance. Circular thinking also helps you to learn how to accept certain aspects of your life oppose to waiting for other people to "come to their senses" in order for you to be ok. Expecting other people to change is like planning your life around winning the lottery. You can wait to live life based on others behaviors or you can create a 'new normal' for yourself where you're in the driver's seat.
Whether your a potential client for brief therapy and feel that you need to connect with a professional to learn ways to maneuver through life's obstacle course or you are going through a life crisis that may require more intensive treatment... Your worth it and that journey that may seem 'a thousand miles away' begins with your first step.
"To good health..."
~Fayola